For a lot of older people living alone, the phone rings more than anything else in the day — and hardly any of it is someone they know. "It never stops," your mum says. "Someone about an accident I never had, someone about my computer, someone wanting my bank details." Most of it is just maddening. But buried in the noise is the call that isn't a nuisance at all — the calm, official-sounding voice that says there's a problem with her account and she needs to act now. Telling those two apart, and knowing what to do about each, is the most useful thing you can give her here.
Two different problems on one phone line
It helps to separate them, because the answers are different.
- Nuisance and cold calls are annoying and relentless, but not dangerous in themselves — sales, recorded messages, wrong numbers. The goal is simply fewer of them.
- Scam calls are the dangerous few. They don't want to sell anything; they want your mum to do something — move money, read out a code, hand over control of her computer, confirm a card number. That's the one to prepare for.
Cutting the everyday nuisance calls
You can't stop them all, but you can turn the volume right down.
- Register with the Telephone Preference Service (TPS). It's free, it's the official opt-out from sales calls, and it cuts the legitimate ones over a few weeks — though it won't deter a determined scammer.
- Ask the phone provider what they offer. Most now have a call-protection service that screens or diverts likely nuisance numbers; some are free, and Ofcom keeps a rundown of what each provider does.
- Consider a call-blocker. Devices that intercept unknown numbers and let only approved callers straight through are genuinely effective; independent testing has found the better ones cut the great majority of unwanted calls. They typically cost between about £40 and £120 — and some council Trading Standards teams provide one free to the people most at risk, so it's worth asking.
- On a mobile, silence unknown callers. Both iPhone and Android can send numbers that aren't in the contacts straight to voicemail, so the phone only rings for people she knows.
The dangerous one — and the single rule that helps most
No gadget catches every scam call, so the real protection is a rule simple enough to hold onto in the moment. This is the one worth saying out loud together, and even writing by the phone:
Hang up. Nobody who really is your bank, the police or HMRC will ever ask you to move money, read out a code, or give card details over the phone. If in doubt, put the phone down, wait, and ring back on the number printed on your card or statement — never a number the caller gives you.
Two things make this rule matter more than it looks. A scammer can make the phone display a real-looking name or number, so "but it said Barclays" proves nothing. And you can dial 159 — a free, official service — to be put through safely to your own bank whenever a call about money doesn't feel right. The pressure to act now is itself the warning sign: a real organisation is happy for you to call them back.
If they've already been caught out
It happens to sharp, careful people every day, and shame keeps it hidden — so lead with kindness, not "why did you…". After a scam walks through the calm order of things: contact the bank straight away, then report it to Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040 (in Scotland, call the police on 101). Reporting matters even when the money's gone, because it's how these operations get traced.
A calmer phone, honestly described
Some of the fear is simply the phone itself — an unknown number lighting up an intimidating handset. Making the phone she already owns simpler to use, so calling the people she trusts is one easy tap, takes some of that daily unease away. We should be plain, though: simplifying a phone's home screen does not block incoming calls or stop a scammer getting through — nothing does that completely, and the rule above is what actually protects her. Quietening a phone that frightens covers the calmer-handset side of this.
Where to find the real help
- Which? and MoneySavingExpert — clear, current UK guides to blocking nuisance calls and the services available.
- Ofcom (ofcom.org.uk) — official guidance on nuisance calls and what each provider offers.
- Friends Against Scams (friendsagainstscams.org.uk) — free, short online training that helps a whole family spot the tactics.
- Age UK — a plain-English page on phone scams and cold calls aimed squarely at older people and their families.
The phone will probably always ring more than anyone would like. But most of it can be turned down to a murmur — and for the call that really matters, one calm rule, said out loud together, does more than any device on the market.