For a parent who's never been online, the whole thing can look like a mountain — and for the adult child trying to help, it can feel like one too. Routers and wifi passwords, monthly deals and jargon, and underneath it all the worry that you'll set it up, drive home, and get a phone call the next day because none of it works. It's genuinely a lot. But broken into small, calm steps — and started from the right end — it's far more doable than it first appears.
Start with why, not with the router
The mistake is to begin with the technology. Begin instead with the one thing your mum or dad would actually love to be able to do. Almost always it's the same: to see the family. A video call with a grandchild they don't get to visit often is the reason that makes all the fiddly setup worth it — for them and for you. Lead with that, keep it in view, and the router stops being the point and becomes just the thing that makes the grandchildren appear.
Getting the connection in
This is the part that sounds hardest and is mostly other people's job now.
- You need broadband (internet) at the house. If there's none, a provider will sort it. Most now post out a router already set up — you plug it into the socket and the power, and it works, with a helpline if it doesn't. Many will send an engineer to set it up properly for a small fee or as part of the package; for a first-timer, that's often money well spent.
- Ask about a social tariff. If your parent receives Pension Credit or certain other benefits, most big providers offer a much cheaper "social tariff" broadband package. It's not always advertised loudly, so ask directly — it can roughly halve the bill.
- Put the router somewhere central and leave it be. Once it's working, write the wifi name and password on a card kept somewhere obvious, and otherwise don't touch it. Half of "the internet's broken" is a router that's been unplugged for the hoover.
Keep the device itself simple
A brand-new connection is enough to learn without a complicated machine on top of it. Whatever they use, the same rules make it kinder: a few big, clear things on the screen and nothing to wade through, buttons that stay in the same place, and no pop-ups or updates ambushing them. A simple computer for an older parent covers choosing and setting one up.
Teach gently, and expect to repeat
The connection is the easy half; the confidence is the real work, and it takes patience on both sides.
- One thing at a time. The video call first. Not the video call and email and a browser and a password manager in one afternoon.
- Write down the few steps that matter, in their words, and leave the note by the machine.
- Let them do it, don't do it for them. Hands on the mouse builds confidence; a demonstration they watched builds none.
- Be kind about the repeats. You'll show the same thing more than once. That's completely normal and not a sign it isn't working. Teaching a parent without the frustration has more on keeping it calm.
Where a calm, simple computer can help
If choosing a machine and switching on all the right settings feels like one job too many, a computer that arrives already gentle can lift a lot of it off you. My World is a calm PC set up as a single screen of large, clear tiles — video calls, photos, radio, email — with the clutter kept out of the way, so a first-timer meets a friendly screen rather than a desktop full of unknowns.
One honest point, because it matters here: My World still needs an internet connection to do the online things — the video calls, email and web tiles — so the broadband above is the first job either way, and it's a paid, one-off app rather than a free tool. What it saves you is the setting-up: the machine comes ready to be the simple, calm screen, so your afternoon can be the video call with the grandchildren rather than an afternoon of settings.
Where to find the real help
- AbilityNet (abilitynet.org.uk) — free advice on setting up and adapting any device, plus local volunteers.
- Learn My Way (learnmyway.com, from the Good Things Foundation) — free, gentle online-basics courses made for absolute beginners.
- Your local library or Age UK — many run free "get online" sessions and have patient people who do exactly this.
- Your broadband provider's helpline — for anything to do with the connection itself.
Getting a parent online for the first time isn't really a technical project. It's a grandchild's face on a Sunday, reached one small, calm step at a time — and there's more help out there to do it than most families realise.